OH FUCK YEAH. Looks like I have to save up for a PSP: Jecht's a playable character in Dissidia. And holy crap he looks awesome.

Seriously, Jecht is the ultimate in awesome. It started with a typical fangirl appreciation, but when I started role-playing as him at ff_crisis, I began to have a greater respect for his character, particularly his transformation during Braska's pilgrimage.

My take of Jecht:

After a unprecedented successful and god-like fame and recognition, Jecht has to learn to live on a small scale; a wife takes the place of thousands of fans, a son takes the place of a team. Tidus naturally resents Jecht's power - classic case of Oedipus syndrome - and Jecht can't get out from his own shadow.

And maybe he doesn't want to. Why exchange thousands of adoring fans for one weak, little wife? How is one whining, cry-baby of a son better than a grateful team? I don't think Jecht tries to be cruel, but at this point in his life, he's too self-centered, too blinded by his own ego to see, really see, what should be important. In my own version of Jecht's history, his wife takes an even smaller role (my reasoning is this: Jecht doesn't even mention her name once during FFX, so how important to him can see be? Tidus is who he thinks of, Tidus is who he's trying to get back home to), and actually only feeds his selfishness. Maybe he married her after she became pregnant and not because he loved her. Maybe other than their child, they have no bond to share. Maybe she loves him like his fans love him: a shallow admiration of purely external traits. Maybe that's why he continues on being obnoxious and narcissistic, because he doesn't have any reason to change his ways. I'm not blaming here, not at all - I'm just proposing a theory that Jecht is allowed - even encouraged - to be egotistical by a society that rationalizes - even rewards - typical celebrity behavior.

Anyway, when he touches Sin, sin touches back. He's marked - marred even - permanently that day. When he arrives in Spira, he's a broken man. And being shunned, being ostracized is a shattering experience for him. He drinks, which worsens the problems. Sin haunts him, so he drinks; in a stupor he's protected from Sin's nightmares.

Ooh Jecht. So totally awesome.

There was an ocean of silence as they paused to reloaded; in the hollow quiet, Ben heard a rough whisper of instructions - They were splitting up, trying to surround him. Fools, he thought gratefully. Be easy to pick them off one by one, now, 'stead of trying to just break their wall of flesh.

The lanterns that had been spilling ineffective whiteness into the smoky storeroom swung and then disappeared as the posse separated. He counted five running east, three west; Big Jacob still stood in the door, a goddamn Goliath. Probably another one or two circling their boss, even if Ben couldn't see them. He lowered himself carefully down the mountain of boxes he'd been using as a perch, moving his boots carefully down the wood-dusty slope until he'd reach Dan's side.

"Now's our chance," he grabbed Dan under the arms and hoisted him to his feet, not bothering to explain or inquire. The rancher grunted and his sharp fingers dug into Ben's arm, staining his coat rusty red. Once Dan had propped himself up, Ben searched around his waist, took Dan's revolver. "Promise I'll give it back."

Dan shoved away Ben's hands and leaned heavily on his rifle. "Won't need it. We can get out - Here, boards are rotted. Don't even need to break 'em, just push 'em. Quietly."

He couldn't see, but Ben dropped to his knees and ran his hands over the wood wall, feeling for weakness. Two against three - at least - were odds he didn't trust, not with Dan re-painting the damn room with his blood. A test proved Dan right - The boards crackled and splinted an dropped away. They could snake through, bellies to the dust, and he could back 'round, shoot that fucker Jacob right in his cowardly back.

"Gotta hurry," he said over his shoulder. "They split up to search. Gotta get out before they reach back here."

Dan's hand clasped Ben's shoulder hard as he lowered himself to the ground. He grunted again and there was a sound of splattering, but he hurried, pushing Ben aside as he wiggled between the panels. Ben followed, sliding on the blood out onto the dirt.

My continued unemployment gives me lots of free time, but I've been too depressed lately to do any writing. Family stuff, too, has been draining. But I'm in contact with a possible Digimon beta; if that works out, I might be more inspired to pick up the slack and get into the writing groove again.

Title: Summer Days
Author: verdictlesslife
Characters: Daisuke and Ken
Summary: They're my OTP! I had to write porn for them!
Warnings: Hand jobs
A/N: For porn_battle at IJ.

( Digimon 02, Ken/Daisuke, summer days )

OH HAI THAR.

Been crazy busy lately, but I found a cool community with which to spam this otherwise plodding journal.

amplificathon

Title: Ceremony
Fandom: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Characters: Malon, Ganondorf, the Gerudo
Prompt: Fall
Word Count: 679
Rating: PG
Summary: A Gerudo festival.
Author's Notes: Inspired by the amazing Catherynne Valente's Orphan's Tale.

( Ceremony )

Title: Face Down
Author: verdictlesslife
Word count: 374
Characters: Ben and Dan
Summary: Buttsecks!
Warnings: ...Buttsecks!
A/N: For porn_battle at IJ.

( Face Down )

Title: Lock the Doors and Close the Blinds
Author: verdictlesslife
Rating: NC-17, but not an extreme NC-17, if that makes any sense
Word count: 998
Characters: Ben and Dan
Summary: Veni, vidi, vici - But maybe not in that order
Warnings: Ben and Dan fooling around in bed
A/N: This was attempt #2 for Porn Battle at IJ, but I didn't finish it in time. Finally sat my big butt down and worked on it this past weekend. Hope you like it! The title I stole from "I Can't Decide" by the amazing Scissor Sisters, which is a total Ben/Dan song. I wanted to call it "Fuck and Kiss You Both at the Same Time," since that line's great, but I decided on something less explicit. Yay, I guess.

( It's not easy having yourself a good time. )

Title: Untitled
Author: verdictlesslife
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 626
Characters: Ben and Dan
Summary: Dan learns to feel again.
Warnings: Buttsex!
A/N: Wrote this for Porn Battle at IJ. The challenge was "Ben/Dan, responsibility and not," and I kinda failed to stick to it, but hey, cowboys having sex is hot, so I decided to post it anyway.


( Bring on the pron! )

Title: Diving for Pearls (part 1)
Setting: Sometime during the pilgrimage
Themes: 33) Exploration, 34) Fumbling/clumsy, 49) Sphere(s)
Pairing: Auron/Rikku
Warnings: Nope
Summary: Rikku goes treasure hunting and just when she gets the find of the century, a certain totally mean, totally dumb someone lays claim to it. Split into two parts because of its length - Rikku's dialog was a blast to write, so I let her blabber away unfettered.

( In which our beloved heroine comes, sees, and conquers, and then gets totally pwn't. )

"Whoooooooooop."

Phoenix blinked a few times, but the hallucination didn't waver. Furiously rubbing his eyes didn't improve much either, other making them water, which was actually declination from his original state. "Um," he said, hoping to startle his imaginary companion away from his door, "what?"

Edgeworth coughed slightly and then stared firmly at Phoenix. "I was told that that would be the most appropriate greeting. Clearly he was mistaken. And shall therefore be dealt with later."

Realization dawned, and Phoenix met it with a sinking feeling in his stomach. "So you really are here and not a figment of imagination. I'm not sure if that's a good thing." He sighed as he stepped away from the door, waving to the prosecutor to follow. "What brings you to this side of town, Edgeworth? Want a drink?"

"This could all be avoided if you agreed to marry me."

Over his shoulder, I saw Reno scowl - Poor bastard still wasn't getting any from his beloved boss - And I grinned at him and Rufus, showing all my teeth. "I'd probably killed you by now, Gimpy."

Rufus' businessman-polite smile faded somewhat, and Reno looked like he was trying to shoot bullets out of his eye sockets. God, there was nothing more satisfying than riling the Turks! I leaned back in my chair and propped my boots on Rufus' desk, still grinning away like I'd won the lottery. The kitten lottery. "So, Ruru, what'd you fuck up this time? Are you sending me someplace nice this time? How about Costa del Sol? I just got this righteous bikini with pirate skulls on it, and that's something the world needs to see as soon as possible. Also, I want ice cream. In abundance."

Rufus opened a folder and slowly flipped through it; his revenge for the "Ruru" jab probably. It was pretty lame, but damn effective - I could practically feel my life waste away as I waited. Finally he got sick of hearing me fidget, and he pulled out a page. "As you are aware, Shinra Corporation no longer relies on the lifestream for energy."

God, of course Rufus couldn't just come out and say what he wanted. "No shit, Wheels. What's the next epiphany you're going to pull out of that flabby ass of yours? Water's wet?"

Rufus ignored that. "While coal and oil have been remarkably helpful, they aren't efficient means of power. We need renewable energy to assure a constant supply. As per the suggestions of Wutai-"

Even though I'd slept on more comfortable rocks, I'd totally almost fallen asleep in the chair, but I managed to pry open an eye at the last word. "Oh yeah? What sort of crap has Pops been feeding you?"

He ignored that, too. "As per the suggestions of Wutai," he repeated, because Rufus was a spiteful bastard, "we've been investigating wind- and water-based forms of power. Construction of the Shinra Wind Turbine Park A001 will begin within months. Shinra Wind Turbine Park B001 by the end of the year. Shinra Wind Turbine Park C001 shortly after that. I aim to have 40% of Midgar's power generated from wind farms within five years."

Fascinating. He'd actually discovered something more boring than watching Cloud's hair gel dry.

"I think we should take a break."

If Butterfield or McElroy had said that, they'd already be dismounting, but Doc had been the one to break the aching silence between them all, and Dan and the rest of them turn to look at him - All but Wade, who was staring across te desert. Dan pulled up beside him and followed his gaze, but he didn't see shit - No horses, no posse, nothing but sand, sand, rocks, and from-hunger trees.

"We've been riding for a while," Doc added, almost apologetically, and he turned to look at Wade, too, before appealing to Dan with an apologetic smile. "Right, Evans?"

"We should keep moving." McElroy answered before Dan could. "We ain't got time to-"

"A short break should be fine." Butterfield interrupted. He slowed his horse and dismounted, and McElroy grunted and spat into the dirt. Butterfield's lip curled in disgust, but he had won, so he let McElroy sulk away. "Evans, can you handle Wade?"

"Actually," Doc piped up again, "Actually, I'd like to examine him. If it's all right, of course."

"I'd be happy to indulge your curiosity, Doc."

Doc had probably directed the question toward Butterfield, but Wade finally decided to bless them all with his attention, and TOOK OVER the conversation with a crooked grin. Most of the swelling had gone down, and although he still had blood caked like war-paint on his cheeks, somehow he wasn't as threatening as he'd been the night before.

Butterfield gaped as Wade dropped from his horse. He tossed his reins to Dan, who caught them without thinking and then frowned at himself for doing so, and sauntered to a rock next to Doc. There he sat, legs crossed, still smiling like they were in a tea parlor.

"Dan, keep on eye on them."

Dan nodded as Butterfield turned away - Even wounded as he was, Wade was still a threat, and Doc didn't stand a chance if the outlaw's good mood faded. He carefully dismounted, watching Wade as he stepped from the saddle. Wade's focus was on Butterfield's back, but his eyes flicked to Dan's face



But McElroy was right - Wade was even more dangerous now than the night before.

The sky's the ocean in Kansas: blue that stretches into endlessness.

Women, men, everyone is the same. They all have their buckling points. The game is in wagering how much weight it takes to drop them to the ground, to have them kneeling before him.

Dan's price is high - steeper than anyone's (woman, man) - but he still has a price. And it's only a matter of time before Ben has him on his knees.

The gunfire and the screams outside are a wild symphony, and Ben's boots climbing the ladder rungs tap out the beat for Dan to follow. Going to die going to going to going going sings Dan's heart, but he swallows hard to shove it back into his chest and ignores the warning. Ben twists around and looks down at him, and Dan slings the gun unto his shoulder and away from Ben (outlaw, thief, murderer, savior) and grips the wood bars in sweaty, sandy hands to climb up after and into the light.

===

The ladder will take them unto the roof - faster, safer on top of it all, farther away from desperate Charlie and his mad gang (Charlie's gang, not his anymore - separate like fire and water and sky above; Ben's sick of playing their father) - and the first rung is worn smooth, silk under Ben's bloody hands. A ladder - their ladder - set up on the earth, and the top of it reaches to heaven. Almost over. He turns and Dan's stands gasping behind him, and before his scrambled brain untangles itself, he reaches, those bloody fingers curling around Dan's damp neck, throat, to kiss him. The cuffs clink and ring and swing, and Dan doesn't resist him anymore, will follow him anywhere now, even though its only been a few heartbeats since Ben was on top of him, crushing his life out. Dan looses his grip and gun slides and clatters against the ladder's faded legs, his hands claw into Ben's arms to hold on, because the last minute is approaching like a steam engine and he needs to hang onto to something. He's being tugged upward, up, up, up higher than the rooftops, a puppet on a string. Ben moves away and his grin is crooked and his lips are red, and then he leads the way into the blinding sunlight.

Even though I haven't written much about him, I'm constantly thinking about Willis. He definitely doesn't get enough love in the Digimon fandom. I've been developing his character for about a year now, and I've settled on a few characteristics:

- He's smart, incredibly so. At least as smart as Koushiro on a "school facts" level, although he doesn't take his education seriously; if he applied himself, he'd surpass him. And he matches Ken in creativity and cunning, though again, he doesn't have interest in applying himself. He has a casual approach to learning, to the point where he denies, even hides, how smart he really is.
- He's probably bi, though he deliberately acts asexual. Mimi thinks that he's gay, and he does have an obsession with being together with Daisuke, but he doesn't want his parents to pigeon-hole him into a sexuality.
- He hates his parents and hates himself for hating them. He tries to be neutral in everything he does in order to rebel against them (doing only so-so in school, working only part-time, hanging out with models but deliberately ignoring their beauty, etc) so that he won't accomplish or fail anything; he hates how his dislike of them can be construed as typical teenage angst.
- He resents and is amused by (what he sees as) Mimi's misinterpretation of him. Even though she's his only friend, he constantly underestimates her and her intelligence and dismisses any comments she makes about him.
- He's attracted to Ken even though he blames the other boy of stealing Daisuke. Willis secretly believes that he should have been the final member of the Chosen Children, and that Ken is a poor substitution.

Willis. He's awesome.

/end random thoughts

Fandom: Digimon
Pairing: Motomiya Daisuke/Ichijouji Ken
Theme set: Epsilon
Rating: PG13 for suggestiveness, but there's nothing explicit
Author's Notes: Mild Digimon spoils. Sorry this took so damn long! First I forgot that I claimed this couple, and then once I stopped being a slacker, life whacked me off the side of the head with a big ol' bag of responsibilities. But I'm finally done! Rejoice!

#01 - Motion
They call him The Rocket and the title is the goddamn truth; Daisuke watches from the bleachers and practically salivates as Ichijouji Ken flashes by.

( Seeing you squirm is so delicious! )

I've been working on these goddamn 50 sentences for my looooong overdue Daisuke/Ken 1sentencechallenge, and I'll be damned if I can write anything for "History" or "Sudden." Goddammit! Why am I so thought-constipated?

#21 - Fool
"He stood at the wrong street corner for three hours," Ken explains to his baffled mother as he dragged a drenched and dripping, practically delirious Daisuke into the apartment; Daisuke's knight in shiny armor froze at the bathroom, suddenly paralyzed as his valor retreated -

#22 - Mad
Daisuke crushes a frigid snowball down Ken's shirt (fingers briefly touching the warm, silk skin), and ken retaliates with a full-body take down; the roll down the hill in hysterics, wet and freezing and boiling inside and this is madness (this is love!).

#23 - Child


#24 - Now


#25 - Shadow
He visits later, long after his parents have come, cleaned, and gone, expecting his brother's grave to be abandoned: Daisuke's there, defiantly holding wilted flowers; they stand in the shadow of the tomb until the sun sets and the shadow spreads into night.